? regret - raw poem

As with the images in this post, the following poem is raw: sudden, unrefined, unedited (somewhat like me currently). I scribbled this thing down on Monday just before the start of the clock job. I have not looked at it again until now. With a snatch of time I am throwing this up here as was scribbled.

sunrise, monday morning

my soul fractures

my soul crumbles

it does not vanish

regret

unfathomable

i have done things

     that embarrass me

i have done things

     that make me proud

i have dome things

     that amaze me

i have done things

     that make me shake my head

i have done things (and do)

     that i hate

resentment

now that's the ticket

to regret

     is to hate who you are

i cannot

to resent

     is to hate what you

          have done

          are doing

          will do

nevertheless

everything one

     has done

     does

     will do

is who you

     were

     are

     will be

how can you not want to be

     who you are

(how can i loathe myself)

     (sometimes it is hard not to)

i do not

i cannot

fogrise #1, thursday morning (today) [my favourite]

fogrise #2

#3

blbbl

away away . i eschew the embrace

the woodland

it calls to me

yet

like a preteen boy

at a school dance

i vacillate

turn away

and

pursue avoidance

why

do i deny myself

that which i love

most dearly

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