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Friday, February 03, 2017

cepacol - army cure-all

Cepacol, or Cēpacol as it is styled, is a line of over-the-counter medicinal and hygiene products available in Canada, the United States, and elsewhere. In other countries it may be known as Strepsils.

When I was growing up, we always had a bottle of the yellow mouthwash in the medicine cabinet for gargling. We used it when we had sore throats or not feeling well. We also used it when we were going out for a special night to feel that much more "fresh".


the mouthwash (courtesy cepacol.com)

I have not used it in years. I am a cheapskate, and some time ago, I began only purchasing mouthwashes (or oral rinses) that were on sale or I a had a coupon for. Or better yet, both. Unfortunately, the mouthwash no longer appears to be available in Canada. It will be added to the list of items I need to purchase in an American drugstore the next time I am over the border. Along with the Neutrogena Norwegian Formula lip balm that I can no longer get in Canada either.

Actually, I had not thought about Cēpacol for many years. I was reminded about it recently when my family and I were visiting The Hammer this past December. We were staying with my best friend, who has requested to remain nameless. Well, the boy is prone to sore throats when he is under the weather. Normally, he has a sack of Ricola lozenges with him all the time, but he had run out and his throat was bugging him.


ricola, "the original herbal lozenge" (courtesy ricola.com)

Well, my friend said hang-on, he will check the medicine cabinet to see if he has anything. Well, lo and behold, he had Cēpacol lozenges.

the lozenges (courtesy cepacol.ca)

Would you not know it. I was washed over with memories and nostalgia about Cēpacol. The first thing out of my mouth was about when we were in the Army, the medics used to, as they say, "give it out like candy". It did not matter what was wrong with you. Sore throat, a cough, a sprained ankle (which was common), or an open wound. I kid you not.

I, in fact, had been given Cēpacol several times by medics while in the service. Sometimes, believe it or not, for a sore throat or cough. The best though, was when it was given for an injury such as a sprain or other physical injury. It was a running joke. See the medics for that sucking chest wound (not really) and get some Cēpacol to make it right. So, two particular incidents I recall.

Once, while I was an infantry soldier, I had twisted my ankle really badly, hard for me to do actually, but we were patrolling across a farm field in the winter that was heavily rutted and full of depressions. You could not see the actual contours as the ground was covered in snow. So, after tripping repeatedly over the ruts and stepping into several depressions, it happened. Holy mack! It hurt!! A lot!!! As it was a peace time exercise, tighten up the laces and at the first opportunity see the medic. Off comes the boot: "Oh, you'll be fine. Here." And the medic hands me a pack of Cēpacol. I suck one back, put my boot back on and tighten the laces. Back in the field. Suck another one back, and another, etc. "Wash, rinse. repeat". But, you know what? I felt better. It was a funny and curious thing.

The second particular incident, where one would think issuing Cēpacol for a physical injury would seem inappropriate, was once when I was training in Gagetown. Even though I was there training as an artillery officer, the first phase was infantry training. Essentially, every soldier in the Canadian Army is expected to be able to act in the role of an infantry soldier. Everyone, infantry (of course), artillery,  armour, various support staff: cooks, drivers, radio operators, clerks, etc. Everyone except Chaplains.

So, we are in our infantry phase. We would rotate through roles, taking command, patrolling, radio operator, machine gunner and the like. During this particular incident, I was a squad machine gunner. A role I had performed many times previously as an actual infantry soldier. So, we were patrolling and I was behind the scout and we had contact. We drop down, orders are issued and we commence firing at the "enemy". I was toting a C9 Light Machine Gun (LMG), also known as the FN Minimi or M249 to our American cousins.

FN Minimi LMG (courtesy wikipedia.com)

As you can see from the above photo, this configuration is set sup to feed from a belt in a box attached to the LMG. It can also be loaded with the same magazines that are used in the C7, also known as the AR-15 to civilians and the M16 to the US Military. So, our Armed Forces being as cheap as they can be at times, we were using 30 round magazines instead of the belt fed box. The magazines are supposed to be used for emergencies, such as: no more belts or an immediate and desperate need to reload and get a few rounds down range, as it is quicker to throw a "mag" in then to load the belt.

So, I am firing down range. Oh yeah, we were using blank ammunition, so no real danger of getting injured. I am going through several mag changes as thirty rounds out of a buzz gun does not last very long. Then, as so often happens with the mags in the Minimi, it jams. That is why it is for emergency use normally. I am trying to clear the jam and my patrol commander is yelling at me to resume firing as we have not yet mitigated the threat. 

Well, I am trying, but it was a doozy of a jam. Actually jams. Blanks normally have feed problems as the cartridge has a reduced charge because it is not propelling a bullet down the barrel. However, this was compounded by the magazine being fairly unreliable in the LMG at the time. It was also compounded at the time, by the quality of the magazine. They were made out of a pretty cheap plastic back then because the logic was that they were disposable and would not be reused much or at all.

Duh! We are training. In peace time. Of course we are reusing the mags over and over. Dozens of times or more. So, due to the fragility of the materials, various failures would occur. The spring inside that pushes the ammunition up to be loaded in the chamber would often lose its tension and not feed. Sometimes after slamming the mag into the magazine well of the rifle or LMG, the push-back on the top of the mag would blowout the base plate and the spring and ammo would fly out the bottom of the mag. It actually looked cool, even though it meant you were screwed.

Well, one malfunction common with the Minimi was that while the LMG is firing, it could shear off the top of the mag. This is one malfunction I had. This, plus: failure to eject properly, which meant that spent rounds were caught in the ejection port. Plus: a failure to eject, which meant that a round was still in the chamber. Plus, misfeeds, where rounds are being loaded but not going into the chamber. Well, duh! There is a round in the chamber.

So, back to the melee. I jam. I am being yelled at. I look down to the LMG. The mag is at a funny angle, so I know it is cooked. There are several spent and unspent rounds sticking out of the ejection port. Cycle the action, as per training. Nothing. Lock the action open. Rip the mag out. Grab the rounds sticking out the ejection port. Ow, ow, ow! Hot, hot, hot!! I try to switch hands to get another mag and resume firing. What is going on? I cannot grab the grip with my right hand. I look. There are several rounds at their tips cauterised to my hand. Let the LMG hang from its sling. Rip the rounds off my hand. Ow, ow, ow!!! Holy Fudgenuts!!!! That really hurts.

tip of unfired blank (courtesy imi-israel.com)

Slam another mag in. Resume firing. Contact action over. This all happened in seconds or less. Again, time had slowed down for me. We secure the area. Adrenaline dissipating. Why does my hand hurt? I look at it. Oh yeah. The jam. My hand is bleeding and blistered. There are star-shaped burns all over my palm and fingers. It is really starting to hurt. I tell the patrol commander. Yeah, that looks nasty. No kidding. Does it hurt? Uh, duh! Yeah! He advises one of our "stellar" training officers. Suck it up "Stick" (one of my various nicknames), get you to a medic when it is feasible. Feasible?!? What the Mother-Brother!?! I wipe it down with one of my army-issue handkerchiefs, put on a glove, and... suck it up. 

Next day, end of exercise, I go to the base infirmary. Medic looks at it. Looks nasty. No kidding. Should have gotten that treated right away. Yes, I tried. It is going septic. Greaaat. Suddenly, I am washed over with pain. I am getting pretty upset. Medic tells me not to worry. She will clean it up and dress it. It will be fine. She! Was!! Awesome!!! Cut some nasty bits of dead and dying flesh away. Put some goo on it. Dress it. Come back in two days or if you see streaks running up your arm. That means it is infected. Do I want a chit ordering me to light duty for a couple of days? No, I will suck it up. 

Before I leave, she hands me a pack of Cēpacol. It might help. I leave the infirmary, pop in a lozenge and suck it back, "Wash, rinse. repeat". I felt better. A funny and curious thing.

Why did Canadian Army Medics hand out Cēpacol like candy, regardless of the medical concern back then? A few theories. First and foremost. That was a time when the Canadian Armed Forces were going through a rough and miserly period. Not just the reserve army, but the regulars as well. For whatever reason, Cēpacol lozenges were in medical stores in abundance. I will not speculate why. So, use what you have. Lots of lozenges? Well hand them out for everything. You ask any Canadian Soldier who served during the 80s and 90s. I bet they will tell you they were given Cēpacol lozenges for all kinds of stuff. I saw many a fellow soldier leave infirmaries during my tenure with a sling or cast or crutches and a pack or two of Cēpacol in their hands.

The other reason, I think a medic or medics were doing just that. Handing out the lozenges because they had nothing else to give. Then they noticed that there were less follow ups or reported complications. I know I felt better when I got them. The boy did too. Now he actually had a cough and I did not. But, is it that the particular combination of ingredients, medicinal and otherwise, in those lozenges that does it? Is it magic? Is it a placebo? I truly believe it is some combination of all of the above. Plus the undeniable fact, that while you are sucking back a lozenge you are distracted from what ails you.

I want to thank whoever figured that out, whether it was deliberate, accidental, or plain serendipity. However, whyever, whatever. Thank-you very much for the distraction. Cheers!

I have to get some for my various go-bags and Scout and camping gear. You never know when I may sprain my ankle again. I just wish I could get it in the mysterious, original flavour. It tastes like hospitals! Looks like you can only get it in the UK as Strepsils. Ah, the English and their resistance to dental care and modernity.

the original "hospital" flavour (courtesy strepsils.co.uk)


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