new year's eve 2017

Well. Holy jumpin'!

Making slow cooker meatballs for the fourth time this month. Basically, I have made them on average once a week, or, more precisely, every 7¾ days.

These ones are getting the longest soak in the crock pot. They should be super juicy and super tasty.

The balls are for a New Year's Party we have been invited too. The only actual invitation we got, but hey, works for me. There were a couple of sniffs from friends about what we were doing for the last day of the year, but only one outright invite.

One year, we had loads of invites and what we did was started quite early in the evening and visited them all for a short while. The one we were going to ring in the New Year at was, to be honest, a bit of a dud. So we went back to another one that we were having a great time at. I think it was our first stop that night. It made it a kind of circular evening as we ended up where we started.

This year, one place, and one place only, which suits me just fine. 

The wife has selected a walnut torte to bring as well. A very nice winter and celebratory confection.


A lot of birds today by the feeders. Another nice end to the year. It is pretty cold out, -25℃ (-13℉), but sunny. So the mourning doves, juncos, nuthatches, finches, chickadees, and sparrows are putting out a good showing. There was even a trio of Crows for a while.

The squirrels are definitely fewer. There are only two or three hanging around right now. Mostly not a nuisance. The wife says I am torturing them. All summer I was shooing them away. Yesterday, I bought a bag of peanuts to put out for them. Hey, I am not a monster, usually. (Two full moons in January, who knows what is going to happen then.) So, I open the door to put out some nuts (legumes, really, I believe) and of course they take off. They must be confused as I immediately tossed them my nuts.

What are they going to make of that? Who knows. If they are confused and still back off when I come out, then maybe we can come to a new understanding. I have never had a problem with them being around per se, and I do not even mind feeding them a bit. What cheeses my toast, is that they get on the feeders. I draw the line there. Maybe I will put some of my squirrel recipes in the window for them to read. Then, maybe they will understand the tenuous relationship we have.

There are reports too, that our friendly neighbourhood rabbit is about. There were two way, way back. One brown and one black. We named them Hoss and Pepper, respectively. It was a play on hasenpfeffer. It dovetails with my twisted sense of humour. Pepper has not been seen for some time, but Hoss seems to have found a mate and there were several mini-Hosses running around this past spring through fall. However, only Hoss seems to have stayed for the winter. 

There are tracks all about and some unconfirmed sightings. Hoss has at least two dens, one of which I know and the other is only suspected. We may yet see Pepper, he/she usually shows up a few/couple times in the very late winter / early spring and sometimes in the late summer / early autumn. So, a while off yet for that guy to show up again.

Wow! A pair of ravens just showed up. I suspect they are the same pair who were here a few times earlier this year. They are definitely not the crows from earlier. These guys are bigger and their beaks are not the same. They also prefer the Balsam Firs (which I think may really be Eastern Hemlock, but I am no expert; to me they are all "pine trees") to the Birch tree (perhaps a Paper Birch or most likely a hybrid of some sort) that the crows from earlier were roosting in.

Anyway, the meatballs are looking awesome! 

I am going to thicken the sauce about an hour before we go though so it is rather clingy. That way everyone gets a bit more goodness.


A couple/few final comments on this last day of the year:

If you are celebrating tonight, then enjoy. I intend to. However, please keep in mind that your travels should remain safe and sensible. If you have too much fun (ie get inebriated) then beach it for the night. No one needs to take unnecessary risks or inflict stupidity on others. I certainly do not want to deal with anyone's foolishness.

Spring is around the corner. The days are getting longer, the wildlife is roaming later in to the day. It will be warm and toasty soon enough for those of us who have cold and snowy winters. Take what nature and your surroundings offer. Regardless of season or weather. This planet is full of wonders we often miss. Take time to catch a few.


Time for us to visit and celebrate.


Happy New Year and see everyone next year!

blbbl

observations from the hammer (part ii)

Tonight we conclude the rooster's little Christmas Travelogue from the Hammer.

So, my other observation, in addition to driving in the Hammer from yesterday, may just well be two-fold. In that it is not necessarily one item with two related observations, but two observations with a superficial connection. I think it is the former and not the latter. Still with me? Good!

So, what the hell am I talking about?

Water. Municipally treated water. The Hammer's municipally treated water.

When I was at my buddy's place, I could smell a touch of chlorine in the water. The wife said she could smell it at a hundred paces. Now, I know most, if not all, municipally treated water in Canada and the US has chlorine, and other chemical substances, added to it. Hell, I grew up on the Hammers' chlorinated, fluoridated, and whateveridated water.

However, it definitely is more chloriney than when I resided in the Hammer as a young lad. I mean, you can cut it with a knife depending on whose tap it comes out of. Such as at the mother-in-law's place.

While at the mother-in-law's, I though I may be losing my mind at first. (Now, I probably am, but as far as I can tell, it has nothing to do with chlorine.) I kept smelling chlorine, it did not matter where I was in the house, I just kept smelling it. I eventually figured out that it was whenever the water was running. At one point, I was running the tap for something or other and I was all but overwhelmed by the smell of chlorine.

Now, you have to understand, I maintain our pool. This includes mixing granulated chlorine in to hot water (I use hot water as it improves the dissolving of the granules), and it "smokes". It begins to fume, and more than once I have taken an unhealthy dose in to my schnoz and most likely fed it in to my lungs (I would have made a hell of a trench-buster in WWI). So, I am used to chlorine in my system. Plus, I played water-polo for my secondary school and our home pool was the most chlorinated pool in the Hammer. People would tear up for day after playing against us in our home water. We laughed it off; we were in it almost every day for weeks on end.

Oh yeah, also, when I was in the Army, I went through several "gas-hut exercises". This is basically going in to a small structure where "CS gas" is dispensed. One enters the hut with their gas mask on and then they have to remove it and take at least one deep breath. For some reason, I would always be ordered by my Sergeants to take two or more deep breaths. Most everyone would heave or vomit or at minimum be in extreme discomfort. Me? The worst that ever happened to me was that sometimes, SOMETIMES, my eyes would tear up. Once, I was sent back in for a second time, sans mask, to suck more gas in as the Sergeants thought I held my breath. I did not, but I did laugh.

So, this is my baseline for irritants.

So, you see, the chlorine in the Hammer's water is pretty high. I even asked the wife if her mum was using some kind of chlorinating system. Nope. All Hammer-town goodness. Wow!

A bit of a ramble, but my point is, if a city/town/municipality has to chlorinate that much, what is wrong with the water? I am in Ottawa often enough to know that the same levels of chlorination are not part of the current system. They have other issues, like Montreal, with just chucking human fecal matter right in to the rivers, but that is an unfortunate gripe for another day.

Now, my other point. (I know, I know, I am somewhat abandoning the whole over-chlorination issue, but I need to find out more about before I jump to any conclusions.) The other point?

Whatever the Hammer is doing to the water, it gives a hell of a shower. Yup, you heard me. While bathing in Hamilburg, I came across something I have not had the experience of in some time.

Now, remember, where I live now, I am on a well. So, that means hard water. Very hard water. It is full of sulphur and iron. To the point that our so-called water softener also has a sulphur treatment system and an iron treatment system (which appears to not be working at the moment). So, our water softener is not really softening the water, but removing some excess elements.

So, what the hell is my point?

Patience, I am getting there.

Yeah, oh, the shower thing. First shower in the Hammer, I am rinsing off and I hear, yes hear, a squeak. Then another squeak. As I am rinsing off and "rubbing" the soap off as I am want to do at home on my well water, I am literally, not figuratively, squeaking. I am "squeaky clean"!!! Not the "free from moral taint" kind, that can be debated by various parties, but I digress.

So, is it the chlorine, fluoride? Is the hammer adding Turtle Wax? I know not what they are doing in that town to the water, but it felt great. Often, with hard water, you are left with a slippery feeling. I know this intimately. I have bathed in many types of water around the world and, let me tell you, squeakiness is not always there. It puts a spring in your step, makes you feel ten feet tall, makes you smile, makes you want to stick your armpit in someone's nose. It is a pretty wonderful feeling. But.....

But, the stank of chemicals.....Is that a great trade off? Not sure. However, the feeling is amazing.

Is this a case of "better living through chemicals"? Maybe? Is it worth it? Not every day, but for a "holiday session"? Damn tootin' right!!! blbbl

some observations from the hammer (part i)

So, I noticed a couple/few things while back in my old stomping grounds of Hamilton (aka the Hammer).

First, driving. Now, my personal opinion is that the quality of driving in general has been in a decline for several years just about anywhere I have been on this planet. Some places it is declining faster than others. It is also not exactly the same everywhere.

My opinion of Volkswagen drivers overall is well known. And I still stand by it.

However, Hamilton is going through some very odd declines. There was the fact that the Hammer had plenty of one-way streets and a reputation for very well timed traffic lights. People used to just cruise from one end of the city to the other for fun. I did it more than once myself.

Sadly, it appears they have recently been hiring city planners without brains though. Many of these one-way streets have been made in to two-way streets, in a very poor fashion I might add. Every time I drive down these converted streets I feel like I am heading in to a head-on collision.

As an aside, there is one little street in the heart of the Hammer that has been one-way, in both directions, two-way, and changed between the three options several times over the years. An odd novelty of planning to say the least.

If I recall correctly, it is Walnut Street North. I did not check it out this last time in the Hammer though. Currently, it appears to be two-way. However, I was stopped by a Copper once for driving down it the wrong way in one of its one-way iterations. I was picking up some Chinese food while visiting my brother. I played dumb and luckily I had recently updated my Driver's Licence address to my residence in Ottawa at the time from Hamilton shortly before and he let me off the hook assuming I was a foolish tourist.

The other major change in traffic flow, is that the planners have mucked with the timing of traffic lights. This appears to be a problem in most Canadian urban areas. But, as I mentioned above, Hamilton had great timing on the traffic lights. They were synced so traffic could move and flow. Now, it is set up to halt traffic in an unnatural way.

Truly sad, as the Hammer had awesome roads to drive when I young man who loved to careen through the streets like Steve McQueen  in Bullitt.

From what I understand, this concept of de-syncing lights is to halt traffic and force it in to clumps to allow other traffic to join the flow from side roads and the like. All it really does, is piss people off, make them take much longer to get where they are going, and create bottlenecks in the flow.

Now I am not a road/city planner in real life, nor do I play one on television or in the movies, but really?! I am pretty sure a teenage kid could do a better job sometimes. I know the boy could.

My main beef though with driving in the Hammer is the drivers themselves. Many moons ago the worry was "old guys" on the road. There were variations on that too. "Old guys wearing hats", "old guys in big cars", especially Cadillacs and Lincolns. The worst being: "old guys wearing hats in big cars".

The "old guys in hats" has made a bit of a comeback for being a nuisance on the road, but that is not even the biggest problem in the Hammer. The thing that struck me was indecision. Drivers just seemed not to know what to do or where to point and move their cars. It is always a problem in parking lots, but this is happening big time on the roads themselves in the Hammer. It truly baffles me.

It is like everyone on the road is a lost tourist. However, the vanity plates, bumper stickers, and logos on their hats, tell me these drivers are local as well as dazed and confused. I really do not get it?! I kid you not, these drivers are stopping in the road and appear not to know where they are going. Or, they are about to execute a turn and stop, sometimes they end up turning in the opposite direction they originally indicated or they go straight through??

Anyway, back in the sticks of the Ottawa Valley and my biggest worry now is two good old boys in trucks, facing in opposite directions, and talking to each other. Hey, I do it myself sometimes.

Well, it is getting on and my other observation, which is two-fold, will need to wait until tomorrow. Sorry, it is nearing midnight and I need to get up early and get some "stuff" done. At least my first leg of driving only has two traffic light and a smattering of stop signs. blbbl

out of the hammer (the eighth day of christmas)

We hit the road at 9:30 this morning. Only about ninety minutes after our planned departure time. Pretty hard to get up super early after a tumultuous night and tough to move quickly in temperatures twenty below.

The roads were dry and traffic was really not that bad. However, it was really odd. We would get passed by someone who was going maybe as much as one kilometre an hour faster than us, then they would change lanes moving in front of us, then they would slow down to a speed below the one we were driving at.

A giant pain in the ass. I would ultimately have to pass them and hope they figured out how ridiculous the move they just did was and not repeat it. Most seemed to figure it out, but there were a few who repeated the bonehead move several more times. The wife and I were perplexed, but we got past it. Mostly by the fact that they would get themselves stuck in a mob of traffic. Serves them right for driving like dinks.

Paid through the nose for fuel on the highway at our halfway point. Tried to get coffee, but after twenty minutes of waiting, while switching off to go to the bathroom, we bailed and hit the road again.

Oh, I kinda wish we got coffee. The last hour was tough. Head shaking and smacking, barking, and making funny noises and talking gibberish. It was tough to stay awake. We made it though.

In the final stretch we were groaning a bit about what our laneway was going to look like. We figured we were going to have to climb over huge piles of snow to get to our door and clear it all out just to park in the drive, but.....

The neighbour across the way took pity on us in our absence. He snowblowed the drive and our neighbour around the corner, who had been looking after the boy's lizard and making sure no one stole our roof, cleared our walkway. Needless to say, we were pretty ecstatic. Plus, we owe some huge thank-yous.

Oh.....So, so tired. Big and busy day expected tomorrow. I have observations from this past week in the Hammer that I need to sort in my head and put together. Maybe it will come to me in a dream tonight? Who knows, I am due some not-so-sour dreams. blbbl

the badger has been nabbed (the seventh day of christmas in the hammer)

So, success; but first.....

The day started late, but we got off with a bang in the end.

First stop was an antique store the mother-in-law frequents. The boy picked up some ornamental ducks, huzzah. The mother-in-law snagged some rooster silhouettes, of all things, capital. Nothing caught the wife's eye.

Me, there was a painting of some elks and a portrait of Churchill, but too rich for my blood. Too bad. There was a really nice cane as well. I really liked it and it was the perfect length for me, but for some reason or other, I passed on it.

Then. Then! We hit our first attempt to bag the Badger. No dice. A few more stops to various minutiae. Then. Then! We headed in to Dundas and rolled down the main drag. We missed our quarry and had to loop around. The shop was in a pretty ornate building. I have now learnt through some documents online, that it was the former Post Office of Dundas.

At this point, I had little hope for success. Ah, but, fortunately, I was incorrect. They had most of the Badgers I sought. They did not have the aftershave tonic I wanted to try, but there is a shop in two of the towns on either side of hacienda rooster and I can check there.

I got three items: the unscented for sensitive dry hands balm (the one I really wanted), ginger and lemon lip balm (I figured, if my hands are happy from the Badger, then my lips may just well be too), and the foot balm (I got that more for the picture on the tin, a silly indulgence).

my quarry captured

who could say no to a badger with a walking stick? not me!!

The day closed with a visit to yet another sister-in-law, around the corner from the mother-in-law.

Anyway, tomorrow is the drive home. Have to finish packing and get some shut-eye. See y'all on the flipside!! blbbl

slowing down & the badger still eludes me (the sixth day of christmas in the hammer)

Yes, it is still Christmas for the wife, the boy, myself, and the rooster. In the Hammer, not going back home for at least another day. So, the Christmas feeling is still going strong.

The wife and I took her one sister home to Guelph today. While doing that, I resumed my hunt for the Badger. There was a store in Guelph that was supposed to carry various Badgers. Alas, that shop, sadly, was closed. So, the hunt continues.

However, some goodies were acquired. Some picture frames; I have a desire to fill some walls in the house with photos. So, this will help. Plus, I got a cool rock and a book. Thanks Claire!

Other than us also visiting with an old friend this evening that lives around the corner from the mother-in-law, not much other action today. A bit of a lull in the Christmas Hammer travelogue. blbbl

the turkey that came in from the cold (the fifth day of christmas in the hammer)

So, Christmas with the in-laws and my second scratch dinner in two days.

We did presents this morning and all afternoon was prepping and cooking dinner.

Dinner was terrific. I had plenty of help too. Like I told my brother-in-law when he congratulated me on dinner: I did not do much, I just put it in the oven and it did the rest. Plus I had tons of help.

Snack and second supper out now. Much pleasant conversation.

A grand day and evening in all.

However, as the title of the post implies, the main point of this post is the turkey.

So, my one sister-in-law provided the turkey. She gets a turkey as a gift every year and provided it for our supper.

However, there is more to this turkey than meets the belly.

As I was appointed to prepare Christmas supper, I compiled a menu and circulated it amongst the family. Some back and forth and adjustments.

Then, I was informed of the source of the turkey, I asked how much it weighed so I could determine portions and cooking time.

Well, at that time, the turkey was not in hand. I would have to wait as to how much it weighed.

Well, when the turkey was finally in my sister-in-law's possession, I enquired once again as to its weight.

No idea, it was estimated at ten pounds. Okay, but I need to know the actual weight. Can they weigh it.

The wife was the liaison for this. So, every day I asked if the turkey was weighed. No, but they (my sister-in-law whose turkey it was, and my other sister-in-law, who is the former's neighbour) think it is ten or eleven pounds.

This went on every day. It was like it was a national secret. Like this turkey was in deep cover. That would explain why the turkey had no weight tag in the first place. My question: What government is this turkey aligned with; is it on the lam and in hiding?

Honestly, it was driving me wild. I needed to plan how long to cook it, so we would know when to start it, so we can sit down for whatever time dinner would be determined to be.

So, when the wife went to Guelph yesterday to pick up her sister, the one with the turkey, she was of course delivering the turkey as well to the mother-in-law's house.

However, I made her promise to weigh the turkey to complete my cooking plans. The turkey's security status be damned!

When she show up at my friend's yesterday after the rendition of the turkey, the first thing she said was was that the turkey weighed twelve pounds. Two pounds heavier than guesstimated! That is about an hour's cooking time difference!!

This turkey's goose was cooked now! Ha!!

The best part? Apparently, my two sisters-in-law apparently do not have a bathroom scale. Hence, why it was not weighed in Guelph.

However, the mother-in-law does not have a bathroom scale either! The wife used her mum's luggage scale. You know those ones that have a hook and you lift the luggage to determine the weight. I have one like it, it is used for weighing fish.

Well, my plan for the demise for the turkey was set in motion finally.

Well, whatever nation this turkey was in the covert service of, I would like to let them know that the turkey never cracked, never revealed any secrets, they can be proud of their bird.

Plus, it was very tasty!!!

Merry Christmas everyone! blbbl

christmas eve (day four in the hammer)

A bit of a rolling post.


Woke up early-ish this morning after a bit of a tumultuous sleep. I was screaming in my sleep around half past midnight. My buddy came down and woke me up. Last time that happened was about six months ago and a much longer time before that. When I was a kid, I used to do that all the time. Oh well, no sugarplums with machetes at least.

As an odd result, I was somewhat spry when I did wake up. I checked the weather this morning and texted the wife with the info. Then, I called the neighbours back at home. They are keeping an eye on our place and feeding the boy's reptile. It was eight o'clock in the morning. I woke them up. Ooops. They took it well and we exchanged Christmas greetings.....


Ran out for an errand with my friend and still managed to find another gift. There was one more item I would have liked to have gotten (that I only thought of this morning), but it is a pain to get. Oh well, I will get it after Christmas.

Everything wrapped. Everything prepped for dinner. Just waiting for the wife to come back from Guelph, she went to get her one sister after coming back from Caledonia. The truck is certainly seeing the sights this Christmas. Also, my buddy is visiting with his mum and will be back shortly.....


Just waiting on putting the roast in the oven, a stuffed pork loin, and getting everything else cooked.The wife is making one of her no-bake pies when she gets here too. I love those pies.

Time to twiddle thumbs for a bit....


The wife has arrived, but she cannot make her pie. Yet. We cannot locate a mixer, electric or otherwise. Waiting to hear back from buddy. At least we have a linzer torte we picked up in Westport that was special ordered.....


Well, no mixer. I guess torte and homemade cookies. Almost time for the roast to get cooking. A few other bits and bobs to sort and then, in it goes. Time for a cocktail.....


So, dinner cooked and went well...Except perhaps my kapusta dish, I was not totally happy with it. It was good, but not great. Not much in the way of leftovers from the meal. Which, in and of itself, is a good sign overall.

The wife and my friend started the dishes while the boy and I cleared the table. Buddy is just finishing the last and shortly dessert, sans pie :o(.....


Linzer torte and cookies, yum. Dessert and a digestive. What could be better? Oh yeah, my friend placed crackers at our place-settings. We all got papier-mȃché crowns, two gold, two silver. I got a tiny notebook as well. There were also a church key, mirror, and golf tees.....


Oooohhh, presents before dessert it looks like. Woo-hoo!...Score.....


An odd discussion of history and geography ensued. I think I need to buy some educational tomes for a particular boy and have a discussion with a particular school, if not school board. A bit of a Christmas surprise. Glad the boy is smart and can extrapolate, but what about the masses that cannot?.....


Anyway, I digress, watching White Christmas, a movie my mother somewhat enjoyed watching. I find that, though it was filmed in colour, it looks weird. Some of the colours are just too "vibrant". The colour almost looks painted on to me.

Okay, midnight mass coming on television at 11:30. Too weird for me. A half-hour early and on tv? Bizarre.....


Oh yeah, the snow was originally supposed to start at one-in-the-afternoon, then it was to start at around half-past-three. Well, it started about half-four. Still going, and supposed to through the morning.....


Well, time for bed. Up super early to get over to the mother-in-law's place and start making dinner and exchange gifts. I hope Santa remembers that we are in the Hammer for Christmas. blbbl

noodles, belts, and kicking back (christmas - day three in the hammer)

Well, not much happening today.

The Badger still eludes me. But our lunch with my cousins was pleasant. The Vietnamese noodles were quite nice. The broth, in particular, was very good. Often, I find the broth can be left wanting, but not today.

The boy did forget to pack a belt for this journey, so we made a stop at Winners of all places. We found a belt that actually fit and when the clerk cashed us out and asked if we wanted a bag: Well, no, he will be wearing it right now. She chuckled and kindly removed all the clasps and tags attached to the strip of waist leather.

When the wife was bringing me back to my friend's place, as she and the boy were heading off to Caledonia to her friend's, she declared she needed to get some gift cards.

Oh boy, the traffic in and out of the parking lot at our final detour was foolish. People just seemed to forget how to conduct their vehicles in any direction. However, there were some kind souls out there that let vehicles in to the flow of traffic, which greatly improved matters for us and others.

Amazing, that amidst the pre-holiday mayhem, people still freely can be kind and courteous. It makes me smile. Then I cuss when the next guy is an assclown, but them's the breaks I guess.

When I finally beached it at my buddy's, we kicked back and watched a couple/few episodes of The Crown. Snacks and a movie followed: The Magnificent Seven (2016). A good western, but, for me, not as good as the original western remake of Seven Samurai. I fell asleep during the extras, so that was the end of the evening. A pleasant and laid-back night.

With gift getting out of the way, as far as I know, all that is left is wrapping, which I quite enjoy doing, cooking two Christmas dinners, and keeping happy and jovial. Well, at least the cooking is something I am good at and find comes easily to me. blbbl

badgers, pine, and sea kelp (christmas - day two in the hammer)

So, being Friday before Christmas, not so out of control.

A big chunk of wettish snow dropped on the Hammer overnight and this morning. I had to do a bit of a Colt Seavers / Fall Guy move out of my friend's driveway and may have scared the neighbour a bit when I came across the road, popped the curb, completed my turn, and headed off for the morning.

First, was groceries for Christmas Day with the in-laws. It ended up being just the wife and I. We got a whole feast's worth, plus a second supper. I am Polish, you know.

That took an inordinately long time, but more to being on unfamiliar turf. I do not do much grocery shopping in the Hammer anymore. It was fun though.

That done, we went to a "dollar-store" to get some Dettol soap. I love that stuff. It makes your soul feel all shiny.

you could probably waterproof your boots with this stuff

the ingredients

all the stuff a growing boy (or girl) needs!

A few more stops and then I grabbed the boy and headed off back to my friend's. Some snacks and chitchat. Then, I abruptly decided to begin my quest for Badger Balm. This stuff works great on my hands when they dry out. Usually, I wait too long when they begin to dry out and this stuff normally fixes my hands in a few days. Sadly, the tin I have is all but empty.

as far as my hands are concerned: the good stuff

I checked the maker's website and there were two shops close by that are listed as resellers. Sadly, the first shop only had a scented version. I may yet go back for it, but it has rosemary in it and the wife hates rosemary. Well, I do not want my hands to bleed. 

Before I went off to the other shop, I looked around some other stores as I had not yet gotten anything for the wife for a gift. Some angsting over that, but I found something. No, I will not tell you. She reads the blog sometimes. I just hope she likes it.

Then, last jaunt, I went to the other shop that was supposed to carry the Badger's wares. They no longer carry their products. I did find something else to try. Nova Scotia Fisherman Rescue Balm with sea kelp! Hey, if fisherman use it and it has kelp, it must be good.

ah, seaweed goodness

That all done, back for supper and a movie: Wonder Woman. She is one of my all-time favourite superheroes. Plus, she is an immortal.I did doze off though near the end. It was during the big philosophical debate between Diana and Ares. Not sure I missed much there.

Well, it is a fairly laid-back Christmas so far. Meeting some cousins tomorrow over Vietnamese noodles and who knows what else. Anyway, the sleep will not get out of my eyes. Time to fight off the sugarplums again. blbbl

first day of christmas (in the hammer)

So, a pretty uneventful trip back to my old stomping grounds. A few, but less than usual, assclowns on the road. The weather only turned against us when we got to town.

Our two side trips went well. I completed all my Christmas gift getting, except, oddly, for the wife. She is tough to gift this year. I am kind of screwed. I have sorted everyone. My original gift for my best friend went sideways, but I pulled it out of the hat in Westport. I took care of everybody else too today. Including super last minute additions.

The wife though? Fuggetaboutit!! Usually, I am pretty good. Well, a couple more days. I have ideas, but the execution may yet not be possible. Well, I will keep wracking my brain. Too early to panic.

Man, time for bed and Christmas failure nightmares. Hopefully, the sugarplums do not have machetes this time! blbbl

an harmonica in the mail

So, the harmonica arrived in the post at the end of last week and I picked it up this past Saturday.

But, with all the Woodland jazz and more, I have not had much time except to read the introduction in the teaching booklet.

Plus, I think some of the Woodland's melancholy has worn off on me. Just not feeling it right now, you know.

Well, on the road to the Hammer tomorrow and then, other than cooking two Christmas dinners, I should have some downtime to look more in depth in the booklet and listen to the training cd.

Here is hoping I can carry a tune and not need a bucket to do so. bllbl

something is afoot in the woodland

So, for various reasons, this will most likely be my last reference to the Woodland for some time. (But you never know, so much has passed in the last half-dozen days that has yet to be told, if ever.)

Ever since my self-imposed, not-so-extraordinary, anti-non-rendition, the Woodland seems so much quieter. I know the boy and I went hiking in our little corner yesterday, but upon reflection, the serenity, peace, and calm, was not the usual form. It was more empty than tranquil.

We were in the woods, but not in the Woodland. I know not if it was just a preparation to the weather that is abounding. However, that has never stalled or subdued the Woodland before. I am uncertain if my old King's Forest down in the Hammer will be just as vacant and plain when we visit later this week, or if events are a little more brisk there right now.

It is like the Woodland is shifting or preparing for something. Not sure. I realise at the present, that the difference is palpable. Right now, it is not a joy, nor a sadness or depression. Melancholy maybe? Sadly, it looks like I may be locked out. My Imperator status is in peril nonetheless, but I am sure I will still be able to custodiate.

Anyway, if this keeps up, all the Cryptids are going to find somewhere else to hangout. And I still have not gotten a ride on a Thunderbird. What a bummer! blbbl

rideau trail - canada 150 challenge - the boy

Short post, just to let you know rooster junior, the boy, has completed the Rideau Trail Canada 150 Challenge.

We went out when he got home from school today and made a loop big enough, with side spurs, to just break the final mileage he needed.

So, as of today, the boy has logged 150.28 km on just the Rideau Trail for 2017. It took him about nine months, but then he does not hike as much as I do yet.

I managed the complete the challenge in about six weeks of mostly shortish hikes.

Anyway, good for the boy. At thirteen years old, he decided he wanted to get the Challenge done on his own mileage and he did.

We will submit his logs tomorrow and await the acknowledgement. Still waiting to hear about the Scout Troop's submission. They are probably pretty busy with people cramming in kliks before the end of the year.

With thirteen days to the end of the year, there is still plenty of time to grind in one-fifty. blbbl

apparently, capitulation has its benefits

So, since my voluntary surrender and removal from the Woodland Tensions, it appears the Gnomes have made moves to a limited détente.

I have found dozens of items that I gave up for lost or even forgot I had.

Possessions that have been missing for centuries have returned. I would just look over at an obscure spot and, holy mackerel!, there it was.

I have been looking for an old beat-up harmonica (no, I cannot play it yet, but here is hoping). I was searching some dark corner of the garage and then the wife suddenly says: Here it is!

It was on my garage workbench, where I had looked tens of times over the last several months!

I appear to have located everything that has been eluding me for time immemorial. Except two items. One, a tent pole bag, that I am not even sure I had. The second, a pair of sunglasses, but then again, I found a pair I was sure I gave away! So, a bit of an even-steven kind of deal.

I am not sure what to make of this, but I guess I better say nice things about Gnomes.

Thanks guys!! blbbl

press release: it is gnover

The last four days have been a hell of a ride.

Various acts of kindness.

Multiple factions of Woodland creatures and beings vying for their agendas.

Gnome spies, Dwarf scallywags, Pygmy-Cervids, many other actors that will not be revealed for some time.

Factions, splinters and fractures, clans, tribes, loners, oh so much!

I, however, at this time of this "struggle, negotiation, and conciliation", must be removed from the midst of it. (There is a whole twisting tale over just the word midst!)

So, I publicly state, I am removing myself, for good or bad, from this latest Woodland Struggle.

I know not what will happen in the copses, dells, thickets, clearings, groves, or spinnies in this time of "mythical" tension, but I now must be but a reluctant bystander and witness.

The one hope I have is that, at the least, an acceptance of kindness, in any form, is not squashed and trampled out of existence!!

See you on the trail.

blbbl

meatballs, gnomes, and dwarfs

So much has happened since yesterday, but sadly, I must remain brief.

I have been shuttled about disparate woodland areas and sequestered in a multitude of various meetings, sessions, hearings, and a couple of donnybrooks.

All this to finally create a lasting peace between all parties.

Even though my whereabouts are currently no secret, I have been watched and followed.

gnome agent attempting to shadow me

he was completely unaware of that a member of the pygmy-moose patrol (pmp) was following him

the pmp alerted me to these shenanigans

As a result, a Dwarfen Security Detail has been assigned to protect me.

Do not call them bodyguards though. They take particular umbrage to that term, as they feel it implies that they would neglect to also protect their charge's head and various extremities and appendages.

I have further dealings this evening. Also, a shadow reception while I meet with some of my Karate friends. I will not change my routines by these brazen acts to intimidate me.

There will most likely be further negotiations tomorrow. I have much to share, both with the general public and the "giving party" that started all this.

There have been some tragedies as well, a Christmas Elf had been found incarcerated and abandoned. As may not be common knowledge, Christmas Elfs (CEs) are very different from other elfs, some even believe there is no genetic relation whatsoever.

CEs are known to be in league with some of the darker factions of Gnomes, so they are not very well liked by some parties. However, I cannot abide such treatment of any living being or creature, including CEs. Attempts are currently being made to determine if the vessel they are being held in is booby-trapped. I certainly hope not, too many parsnips and turnips have been spilt already.

I cannot even bare to share the photos of the incident that some Woodland Media have published.

Anyway, I am still making my sweet-and-sour meatballs for tonight. In fact, I need to get back to them. Dwarfs love anything sweet-and-sour, especially meatballs, and especially if they have pineapple too. If I am not careful, I will only be left with a licked clean crockpot, sans power cord (that would be dessert for them).

Wish me luck tonight. blbbl

kindness, random and deliberate & gnomes (deliberate, the only kind)

So, in reference to yesterday's post: I have been informed the two books given to me are actually gifts and not loans; whereas the bouillon is not so much a gift, but a sorting out only. Regardless, I am all warm and fuzzy from the random kindness.

However, being who I am, I must repay the generosity. And I informed the giving party to such. Here is are excerpts from our communication, with myself as the initiator (in a jovial manner, of course):


.....Do not think I am done with your random kindness and gift-giving.....


The response somewhat took me off-guard:


Unfortunately, Board Policy has determined that actions in response to random kindnesses and gift giving are disallowed. Please refer to Section 3.2.1.0 in the Board Policy Manual, which clearly states that should actions occur after random kindnesses and gift giving, Gnomes have the authority to take appropriate counter-actions, which may involve half-eaten parsnips and their associated peelings.


So, I submitted a query to the governing body of such matters:


I have a query in relation to the message I received below. (The above excerpt.)

The Sender has cited "Board Policy" Section 3.2.1.0 disallowing actions in response to gift giving and random acts of kindness.

Is this true?

A concerned citizen of the world!?!


So, here is the response to my query, in full, which I have forwarded to the giving party:


Fwd: Query to Governing Board of Fairy and Woodland Beings and Creatures

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: ​Gilgamel <​gilgamel9@​gbofawbac.org>
Date: 14 December 2017 at 16:54
Subject: Re: Query to Governing Board of Fairy and Woodland Beings and Creatures
To: Scouter RKR


Dear Scouter RKR (GBoFaWBaC Charter & Voting Member #1968 and Marlborough Forest {E3} Chapter Grand-Imperator [acclaimed] and Custodian):


It has been sometime since we have heard from you. 

Our last communication regarding Gnomes and your keys set certain mechanisms in motion, which had led to the incarceration of several Clans of Gnomes. 

Sadly, most have subsequently escaped and were last heard muttering negative epithets against you. 

Those that have remained incarcerated, have been thoroughly interrogated and it appears you are not liked, in any manner, by, if not all, the vast majority of Gnomes. 

As an aside, of those still in captivity, they remain largely unhelpful and smelly. Although, they have composed several anthem-like songs that disparage yourself and cite several horrible actions they would like to take against you, if ever they could sequester you in a turnip patch. In spite of the horrible intentions of the lyrics, the melody is quite pleasing and one can dance to it.


Pursuant to your current query, please note the following:

We are not aware of this Board Policy Manual, nor Section 3.2.1.0.

We suspect this individual is referring to the Board of Gnovernors. This is a Gnomish organisation that, some time ago, violently and odiferously, split from the Governing Board of Fairy and Woodland Beings and Creatures (heretofore referred as: GBoFaWBaC). We do not recognise their authority.

However, in that they, the Gnovernors and Gnomes in general, exert influence in certain circles, such as with this individual who is attempting to prevent you from being the kind, generous, and helpful human we know you to be, not to mention an all-round swell guy, you may execute a "deliberate act of kindness" (heretofore referred as: DAoK).

We are intimately familiar with the Board of Gnovernors and their short-sightedness. We are confident that they did not perceive the possibility of deliberate kindness. (They do not even believe in Santa Claus, whom, as you know, is a charter, but non-voting member, of the GBoFaWBaC.)

In consonance with the GBoFaWBaC Policies and Procedures (heretofore referred as: GP&P), Sections 137.1.0.0.0 through 689.13.257.111.983, inclusive:

Any individual: human, human-like, animal, creature, real, fairy, or imagined, may perform any type, kind, or variety of a DAoK to whomever they wish (human, human-like, animal, creature, real, fairy, or imagined). Furthermore, they may perform any number of DAoKs.

Notwithstanding the DAoK, the recipient of such, may appeal the DAoK to the GBoFaWBaC to have it repealed, removed, turned-over, or nullified.

In order for the recipient to have the DAoK "reversed" in any of the above manners, the recipient must:

Travel back in time a full twenty-four (24) hours before the DAoK to file their disgruntlement to the GBoFaWBaC.

Said mode of time travel must not be made-up, imagined, falsified in any manner, nor be a total crock.

Moreover, and additionally, said mode of time travel may not include a Tardis of any kind: including, but not limited to: real, imaginary, purchased, leased, rented, scratch-built, nor stolen by Gnomes. (We are still negotiating the Febreezed return of our Tardis from the Gnovernors. It is strewn about with half-eaten turnips and their peelings as well.)


As the GBoFaWBaC sees your enquiry, this individual, if they choose to pursue a reversal, they will not have a leg to stand on. If they choose to pursue the matter directly with the Gnovernors, or any Gnomes or their agents, we will be ready for them and lying in wait to apprehend these rogues and villains. Feel free to share our communication with you regarding this matter as you see fit.

It is known here, at the GBoFaWBaC, that you only act in the best interests of happiness and feeling good. Except, of course, when you go all Hulk. Not a pretty sight. We are glad that you have made such magnificent strides in the last two-and-a-half decades, but one is never cured, only in remission.

That being said, it is never wrong to go Hulk on Gnomes or their agents. Fight the darkness!

As our motto says: "May Gnomes forever be searching for their own keys in a refrigerator that never ends!​"​


​If you need to communicate in this matter further​,​ please refer to you Service Request Ticket Number: 11


Cheers and with warmest regards, your ever faithful servant,

Gilgamel (Member #9), First-Senior-Über-Grand-Imperator, GBoFaWBaC



[NB¹: Scouter RKR is one of the handles that the GBoFaWBaC knows me as.]
[NB²: As per a side conversation with the GBoFaWBaC: Gnomes, including the Gnovernors, and the GBoFaWBaC use turnips and parsnips interchangeably.]


First, I did not expect a response from the head of the organisation. Second, I just expected an informal response and not a formal course of action.

However, I do understand. Gnomes, and their agents, can be quite onerous, and stinky. 

[NB³: At the time the rooster sent this post to press, no response from the giving party has been forthcoming.]  


I will keep you posted, if anything develops. Absolutely outrageous. blbbl

carolling, books, and bouillon

Not much to report today. Running around again, but tonight was nice.

The Scout Troop went to a retirement home to sing Christmas carols to the residents. There was a Wolf Cub Scout and a Scouter from one of the Packs as well.

We sang for about an hour. I did as well. My singing was less Frankenstein-ish than usual. It surprised me.

Anyway, the residents seemed to have had a good time too. Some even sang along.

At the end, they expressed their gratitude.

However, to be honest, we are the grateful ones. To be given the opportunity to spread some joy and happiness is always something to be grateful for.

It can be a difficult endeavour for some. But, when one has the chance to do so, it should be taken. To make some one else smile, particularly some one you do not know, is one of the greatest gifts that can ever be given.

The Scouters also had  another opportunity to make others smile. Somehow, through a series of misunderstandings, we elected to do a Secret Santa gift giving for the Scouts. We each got four Scouts, except the Troop Scouter, he got five Scouts.

We all got something different for the Scouts. Nothing too big or expensive, but basically, something they can add to their outdoor gear.

No, I will not tell you what I got for them, it would spoil it.

I got something too: no salt, organic, chicken bouillon, from one of the Scouters. That basically arose from another misunderstanding.

We had talked about getting some bouillon for the camp we had  a while back for supplementing meals and drinks. I picked some stuff up, but not what the other Scouter had been referring too. So, I guess, to put me on the right track, she gave me a packet.

It is under the tree right now. It is one of the coolest gifts I have ever gotten.

She loaned me two books as well: The Journals of Lewis and Clark and blueberries. the second is a small tome of poetry by Jessica Smith. Well, I presume it is loaned. It is a limited release, 20 of 200, and signed. If it were a gift, it would be too much for the likes of a surly, harrumphing, and bellowing fellow such as myself.

Anyway, that is it for me today. Looking forward to reading both books and having some chicken bouillon too! blbbl

shovelling snow and zombie fortifications

I was out earlier for about two-and-a-half hours of shovelling. The boy even helped me.

What?!

You ask?

Two of you? And it took that long?!

Yup.

The reason though, is that, not only did we shovel the laneway and the walkway, we also shovelled the lawn.

Well, I cut the boy loose partway through that part. So, I did a good chunk of the lawn myself.

What?!

You ask?

You shovelled the lawn?!

Yup.

The reason though, is that, in years past, we have often run out of room as to where to put all the snow from the laneway and walkway. It reaches a point where I cannot shovel it over the big giant-assed mound that gets formed over the winter or the snow blower cannot throw it over.

Besides, the snowblower is crapped out right now.

So, we (I) pushed all the snow to the outer edges of the property. Right over top the swales.

Now there is lots of room for more snow to be moved. And, as it seems that all the snow that fell in the Ottawa Valley has landed on and around the house, I am going to need that room for future snowfalls.

It was funny though. People slowed down to look at us/me doing it. Well, that may be a solution to all the assclowns that race down our street without stopping at the stop signs. Doing something bizarre and/or eccentric out in the front of the house. One guy, in a truck with a huge trailer drove around the block and past the house at least four or five times!

The one neighbour engaged me in conversation, as I think he may have thought I was having a stroke or an episode of dementia and wanted to be sure that I would not be found facedown on our green lawn hours later.

The wife came out and asked why I was shovelling the grass. When I gave my official reason, she asked if I lost my mind. She came out a bit later and accused me pointedly of being crazy. Then! Then, she disrupted my work by tapping on the bay window and made the universally recognised crazy sign and pointed at me. Me!

What?!

You ask?

Yeah, right. Crazy like a fox!

There is another good reason to pile the snow on the edges of the property..... Anti-zombie fortifications!!

Everyone knows that zombies cannot handle the cold. There is no way they are going to try to tackle my defensive snow berms. They are just going to go around the house and I can pick them off at my leisure with the sling shot while they shuffle down the road.

Just in case there are any go-getters in the herd, I left a small and narrow choke point at a corner of the house they could use where I can nail them from the front porch.

Somewhat to that, I have a friend who, now several times, in writing, has called me weird, odd, and the like. Well, you know, that is okay.

Hey, I would rather be seen as odd, weird, eccentric, or even in the vein of: "Don't worry. Just keep your hands and feet away from his mouth. You'll be okay."

Crazy though? That is a whole different set of meds.

This same friend has an interesting perspective. I had mentioned safety concerns for an event and jokingly referred to it as being prepared for the end of the world. She, in no uncertain terms, stated that the world is always coming to an end. And there is no such thing as an apocalypse.

I do not disagree on either point. However..... On the first, one must determine how the world is currently ending. Hence, my anti-zombie snow berms. Just in case that particular conflagration occurs ahead of schedule and not this spring. On the second point, apocalypse is, of course, so passé, at least since the early 70s. As I mentioned in regards to the first point, it is conflagration that is the concern. Not just what, if, and/or when, but how many and the amount of overlap.

I think I am digressing.....

What?! You?!?!?!

You ask?

Nevermind (or is it "never mind"). Now, where was I?.....

Oh yeah..... So, moving all that snow leaves room for what will probably be vastly greater amounts of snow throughout this upcoming winter.

Besides, if I do not shovel the snow off the grass, as I said to the neighbour: How am I supposed to trim the lawn?

Absolutely outrageous. blbbl