So, in reference to yesterday's post: I have been informed the two books given to me are actually gifts and not loans; whereas the bouillon is not so much a gift, but a sorting out only. Regardless, I am all warm and fuzzy from the random kindness.
However, being who I am, I must repay the generosity. And I informed the giving party to such. Here is are excerpts from our communication, with myself as the initiator (in a jovial manner, of course):
.....Do not think I am done with your random kindness and gift-giving.....
The response somewhat took me off-guard:
Unfortunately, Board Policy has determined that actions in response to random kindnesses and gift giving are disallowed. Please refer to Section 3.2.1.0 in the Board Policy Manual, which clearly states that should actions occur after random kindnesses and gift giving, Gnomes have the authority to take appropriate counter-actions, which may involve half-eaten parsnips and their associated peelings.
So, I submitted a query to the governing body of such matters:
I have a query in relation to the message I received below. (The above excerpt.)
The Sender has cited "Board Policy" Section 3.2.1.0 disallowing actions in response to gift giving and random acts of kindness.
Is this true?
A concerned citizen of the world!?!
So, here is the response to my query, in full, which I have forwarded to the giving party:
Fwd: Query to Governing Board of Fairy and Woodland Beings and Creatures
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Gilgamel <gilgamel9@gbofawbac.org>
Date: 14 December 2017 at 16:54
Subject: Re: Query to Governing Board of Fairy and Woodland Beings and Creatures
To: Scouter RKR
Dear Scouter RKR (GBoFaWBaC Charter & Voting Member #1968 and Marlborough Forest {E3} Chapter Grand-Imperator [acclaimed] and Custodian):
It has been sometime since we have heard from you.
Our last communication regarding Gnomes and your keys set certain mechanisms in motion, which had led to the incarceration of several Clans of Gnomes.
Sadly, most have subsequently escaped and were last heard muttering negative epithets against you.
Those that have remained incarcerated, have been thoroughly interrogated and it appears you are not liked, in any manner, by, if not all, the vast majority of Gnomes.
As an aside, of those still in captivity, they remain largely unhelpful and smelly. Although, they have composed several anthem-like songs that disparage yourself and cite several horrible actions they would like to take against you, if ever they could sequester you in a turnip patch. In spite of the horrible intentions of the lyrics, the melody is quite pleasing and one can dance to it.
Pursuant to your current query, please note the following:
We are not aware of this Board Policy Manual, nor Section 3.2.1.0.
We suspect this individual is referring to the Board of Gnovernors. This is a Gnomish organisation that, some time ago, violently and odiferously, split from the Governing Board of Fairy and Woodland Beings and Creatures (heretofore referred as: GBoFaWBaC). We do not recognise their authority.
However, in that they, the Gnovernors and Gnomes in general, exert influence in certain circles, such as with this individual who is attempting to prevent you from being the kind, generous, and helpful human we know you to be, not to mention an all-round swell guy, you may execute a "deliberate act of kindness" (heretofore referred as: DAoK).
We are intimately familiar with the Board of Gnovernors and their short-sightedness. We are confident that they did not perceive the possibility of deliberate kindness. (They do not even believe in Santa Claus, whom, as you know, is a charter, but non-voting member, of the GBoFaWBaC.)
In consonance with the GBoFaWBaC Policies and Procedures (heretofore referred as: GP&P), Sections 137.1.0.0.0 through 689.13.257.111.983, inclusive:
Any individual: human, human-like, animal, creature, real, fairy, or imagined, may perform any type, kind, or variety of a DAoK to whomever they wish (human, human-like, animal, creature, real, fairy, or imagined). Furthermore, they may perform any number of DAoKs.
Notwithstanding the DAoK, the recipient of such, may appeal the DAoK to the GBoFaWBaC to have it repealed, removed, turned-over, or nullified.
In order for the recipient to have the DAoK "reversed" in any of the above manners, the recipient must:
Travel back in time a full twenty-four (24) hours before the DAoK to file their disgruntlement to the GBoFaWBaC.
Said mode of time travel must not be made-up, imagined, falsified in any manner, nor be a total crock.
Moreover, and additionally, said mode of time travel may not include a Tardis of any kind: including, but not limited to: real, imaginary, purchased, leased, rented, scratch-built, nor stolen by Gnomes. (We are still negotiating the Febreezed return of our Tardis from the Gnovernors. It is strewn about with half-eaten turnips and their peelings as well.)
As the GBoFaWBaC sees your enquiry, this individual, if they choose to pursue a reversal, they will not have a leg to stand on. If they choose to pursue the matter directly with the Gnovernors, or any Gnomes or their agents, we will be ready for them and lying in wait to apprehend these rogues and villains. Feel free to share our communication with you regarding this matter as you see fit.
It is known here, at the GBoFaWBaC, that you only act in the best interests of happiness and feeling good. Except, of course, when you go all Hulk. Not a pretty sight. We are glad that you have made such magnificent strides in the last two-and-a-half decades, but one is never cured, only in remission.
That being said, it is never wrong to go Hulk on Gnomes or their agents. Fight the darkness!
As our motto says: "May Gnomes forever be searching for their own keys in a refrigerator that never ends!"
If you need to communicate in this matter further, please refer to you Service Request Ticket Number: 11
Cheers and with warmest regards, your ever faithful servant,
Gilgamel (Member #9), First-Senior-Über-Grand-Imperator, GBoFaWBaC
[NB¹: Scouter RKR is one of the handles that the GBoFaWBaC knows me as.]
[NB²: As per a side conversation with the GBoFaWBaC: Gnomes, including the Gnovernors, and the GBoFaWBaC use turnips and parsnips interchangeably.]
First, I did not expect a response from the head of the organisation. Second, I just expected an informal response and not a formal course of action.
However, I do understand. Gnomes, and their agents, can be quite onerous, and stinky.
[NB³: At the time the rooster sent this post to press, no response from the giving party has been forthcoming.]
I will keep you posted, if anything develops. Absolutely outrageous. blbbl
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