i miss my parents?

Having done a post about the wise words of my father and mother, I found I was thinking about them more than I usually do. Do not get me wrong, I loved my parents when they were on this, at times less than generous, world. And I still do love them. I think about them every day. However, sometimes it will be late in the day or just before I lay my head down for the evening and I realise I had not taken any time to appreciate them.

They passed away more than two decades ago. My mother from a long lingering illness and my father in a tragic accident. However, they did do the courtesy of passing away on days you can never forget. My mother on New Year's Day and my father on Canada Day. Six months apart. To the day. 

my parents before my brother and i graced this world

I did not cry at their funerals because I thought I had to be strong. Whatever the hell that really means. It was years later that I cried for both of them, each at unexpected times and in unexpected situations.

Occasionally, I have extremely vivid dreams about them. Sometimes about something from the past and sometimes in situations that happened after they passed away. I suppose that is my subconscious reminding me how much I really do miss them.

Some days when I think about them, it is about how they left this world. On good days, I think about enjoyable moments we had together. Sometimes I even think about other less happy times. Yet I am grateful for each and every memory. They help guide me in my daily life and what kind of person I strive to be. Of course, as with all things, sometimes I realise the kernel of the message too late, but that is how life is periodically.

This past December,  and all through Christmas and New Years, I found I was having dreams about my parents almost every night. Again, it was probably my subconscious scolding me for being less aware in my waking hours of all they did for me. These remembrances got more intense until about two weeks ago and now I am on a steady course of my regular daily thoughts of them.

I am sure, as has been the case, how much I think about them will ebb and flow. That is why I asked myself, "I miss my parents?"

Of course I do and I always will. It is lamentable they were not with us when I got married to my wonderful wife, but at least they met her and knew her and loved her very much. Also, it is heartbreaking that they never met the boy and he knows them only through tales of our excursions and exploits.

The saying goes, "Time heals all wounds." Well, it probably does, but it is a wound just the same and if it does ever heal, there will still be scars to always remind me of them and all that they mean to me. blbbl

my favourite picture of "mama i tata"