my spirit animal

I had been thinking on and off the past couple of weeks about a topic that has crossed paths with me over the years. Variously called: spirit animal, animal guide, spirit guide, totem (the term I will use in this post for brevity), amongst various other names.

This past weekend, before I went for my amazing massage, I was up pretty early and had time to tool around a bit on the interweb. I found a multitude of websites discussing the subject. Some told one how to determine their totem. Some had quizzes.

The sites that examined the topic explained largely that one should reflect on animals that they have repeatedly come in to contact will in their lives, both positive and negative experiences. The positive experiences are pretty self-explanatory. Those happy times were there to help and guide one on their journey in life and help them make beneficial decisions to better their lives and the lives of those around oneself.

The negative encounters were largely of a similar ilk. They were not so negative as appear at first glance, they are usually a message, generally a stern one, that the path one is taking is not the direction one should be headed towards. An example, using a physical path: you are on a hike and a coyote is on the trail is in front your path and seems none too friendly; instead of seeing it as a potentially dangerous encounter, the coyote is telling you not to take that path or that maybe you should turn back as a hike along this trail is not a good idea. Then you get home and hear on the news that the area was flooded out and treacherous or there was a fire or some such. See, that supposed nasty encounter was really a totem keeping you safe.

A real life example, albeit not as strong as that fictitious one, was last spring when the boy and I thought that the RCJ was still going to happen at that time, we did the pre-hike, much like this past weekend. At one point we encountered a fisher. They can be dangerous animals, to say the least. They are often not fond of interactions with humans. Anyway, this fisher came out of the woods in front of us, right on to the trail. He appeared to be completely aware of us. He looked at us and then headed down the trail. Every so often he would turn around and just look at us, as if to see if we were still behind him. Which undoubtedly was exactly what he was doing. However, he did not seem distressed, more like he was interested in our progress and that we were still on his tail, so to speak. Not once did he show any aggressive behaviour or reactions. In the end, upon reflection, it seemed like it wanted to ensure we stayed on this trail and not veer off. I do not really recall any real chance to get lost, but maybe it was setting a pace so we could avoid something else. I have had several encounters and near-encounters with fishers in the Marlborough Forest.

What these websites tell us about these encounters and ones that are even less benign, is that they may be totems interacting with us. Sometimes, they are just feeling us out, maybe that is what the fisher was really doing, sometimes they are trying to tell us something.

Further along these lines, several of the sites also tell you to think about animals you like, dislike, and all that type of stuff. Basically, any and all animal encounters and thoughts can potentially lead to you discovering your totem.

Some sites had quizzes. I took a whole whack of them. No two were the same, and I think only a few had one or two similar questions. Basically, they were all pretty unique. They asked questions about seasons you liked, colours, what type of activities you preferred. Basically, some questions were useless, some were designed to determine your personality. Anyway, the results of the quizzes were not universal. Some were specific, such as a wolf or coyote. Some were vague, stating canine. I had deer a couple of times. Dragonfly once, thunderbird. Snake twice. Anyway, they were somewhat inconclusive.

So, while I was at my killer massage, I started thinking about animals that have crossed my path in various ways. I have owned a very loyal dog and I generally get along very well with dogs, especially retrievers, shepherds, and rottweilers. And I had a similar encounter at a cemetery with a coyote as the boy and I did with the fisher. I have had a couple of cats, one I am certain was a wildcat. I have always been interested in big cats, particularly cheetahs and cougars; which is interesting as the two are more closely related to each other than they are to other big cats. Yet, I also love jaguars and leopards, particularly snow leopards and clouded leopards.

Other animals? I have always been interested in bison and buffalo. Any time I come across a coin with one I keep it. I have various nickels and quarters and other coinage with various buffalo and bison portrayed. I have a stuffie that the boy abandoned years ago of a moose that I bring to Scout events now. I have had crows hassle me over the years. A friend gave me a small carved polar bear head on a leather strop years ago, but has since gone missing. I do have other polar bear baubles that have been given to me or I have acquired over the years.

Now, here is the thing though. Everybody wants the cool animal to be their totem. It is just like how when people go to fortune tellers or some kind of medium and they want to know who they were in a previous life. Almost always it is Joan of Arc, Napoleon, Cleopatra, Richard the Lionheart, Catherine the Great, Charlemagne; you know: big wheels in history; "cool" people.

Well, sorry to tell ya buddy. Not everybody can be Old Boney or Cleo. Sometimes you have to be a nobody. Me, if I have been reincarnated, I know who I have been: a vagabond, or scoundrel, or some soldier of the rank and file. You know, possibly in or near events of history, but certainly not influential over them. That is fine by me.

So, if I were to have a cool totem, things seems to be pointing to a wolf or coyote, or maybe a cougar, wow cool neat, or a polar bear. Someone actually asked me if that was my totem when they saw the now vanished head around my neck. Well, If I was no one cool in any previous lives, what gives me the right to have a cool totem? Well, to be honest, if I have a totem, any animal is cool, if you stop to think about. Well, except squirrels; with me they are the Loki or tricksters of my universe. Yes, definitely tricksters, most of them anyway.

Anyway (wow! I use anyway a lot!), I started thinking more about direct connections. Other than the dogs and cats, I have been Rusty the Fox as a Beaver Colony Scouter, I have also been Kaa the Python as a Wolf Cub Pack Scouter, I was also technically Akela the Wolf, but I did not adopt that title. I did supervise a Bison Lodge in Colony as well. So, a little more concrete, but I am not so sure about those.

I have always admired blue jays, cardinals, and orioles. I have not seen an oriole at my place in several years. Cardinals always come back and I have a mating pair hanging out most everyday this year. I have three or four jays hanging around, particularly one huge mother-brother of a jay. This guy always makes a point of making eye contact with me when comes to feed and I am outside. That fascinates me. I have had a few happy encounters with jays over the years. I saw a massive party of blue jays at a cedar hedge years ago, near where my usual trailhead is for hiking. (A sign perhaps?) While doing an extended hike in the Marlborough, there was a jay I encountered that followed me for some time and sang to me. I have seen jays in the Marlborough several times. Just this past weekend we encountered one that was unfortunately dead. It was odd and it truly saddened me.

As I lay there during my massage, that damn jay kept popping in to my head. Now, one can have more than one totem. As I understand it, they come and go for different reasons and to help in different ways. However, a person generally has one main totem. I know they are not all super cool. it is starting to look like Mister Blue Jay may just be the main totem for me though.

I did a quick look. The blue jay does not have the best reputation in a lot of ways. He too is a trickster, yet also helpful. Now, I am not so much of a trickster, but a guy who has no problems burning my bridges to make a point. I can be quite an ass, I have pointed it out more than once in fact, but I too am helpful, not unlike the blue jay. They call the jay a trickster, but perhaps he is more of an ass or a dick? Like me! I will have to look up some of these tales and myths about our "tricky jay". He may be more akin to me than not. Perhaps I should be called "tricky dicky"? blbbl

[N.B. I am not an expert on spirit animals, animal guides, spirit guides, totems, etc. I do find the subject very interesting and have only very recently been drawn to it to consider what it means to me and how it may guide and affect me. I have had many other animal encounters that may be influential in my totem(s). I may yet write about them, but I will do some serious reading on the whole subject of totems and the blue jay specifically. No need to read up on being an ass or a dick. In that, I am expert! lbblb]