I hear many people say, often to me, that being grumpy, or angry, or pissed off, or pretty much anything that many others see as negative behaviour, emotions, energy, what have you, will shorten one's life.
My response, with all due respect, bite me!
What others see as negativity, is often passion, drive, spirit, devotion, conviction, zeal. Just because others do not share that passion, conviction, zeal, does not mean it is something to be chastised, derided, or condemned.
Not everyone embraces the same causes, pursuits, or goals. If we did, we would be a pretty boring bunch of sad-sacks.
When I worked computer support for a regional airline, we more or less ran on a really crappy budget and had to teach ourselves a lot as training was virtually nonexistent. We also had a lot of crappy equipment that was difficult to maintain and was heavily abused. My passion and zeal, others might and did say that it was anger and frustration, would come to the forefront at times. Well, blow a few bucks on equipment and my enthusiasm may have been somewhat more subdued. One of my coworkers actually outright said two inappropriate things to me on separate occasions.
First, that he actually expected me to "go postal". I laughed. I replied that it was very unlikely. I told him to think about all the news reports he ever saw about people flipping out at work and what was usually said about them. What? Well, that they were generally very quiet, nice people that kept to themselves. Also, that everyone interviewed was shocked that they could do such a thing. I then advised him that, he, and not me, would most likely be the one to "go postal" as he fit that description far more closely than I could. He agreed. He also looked a little concerned.
The second thing he said to me on a different occasion, was that with all my bluster and freak-outs, I would say drive and spirit, I was going to have a heart attack and die. I laughed at that too. I responded again that that was highly unlikely. I embraced my passion, zeal, and enthusiasm and displayed, perhaps a little too readily at times, my heart on my sleeve. I used what he saw as negativity, to me it was dedication, to drive myself. I did not bottle anything up inside, so how could I have a heart attack. I advised him, that as he kept everything inside and did not share his passion, that he probably had hypertension, I never have, and that by keeping all the negative energy, as he saw it, inside himself, that he most likely would have a heart attack long before I ever would. He looked concerned with my comments. In fact, he did tell me that he had hypertension. Oh yeah, he did have a heart related event too. I do not know specifically as it was second hand and, to be honest, I did not really care. Since he saw me in such a poor light, I really do not have time for people like that. They truly are the negative ones.
I know many people who on the surface appear easy going, laid back, relaxed, and approachable, many of these people have had warnings from their physicians about impending medical issues. Many have had heart attacks and strokes. Me, none yet. Personally, these people had no outward displays of passion, zeal, or drive. I also know people who do have these outward displays and have had medical events.
I know many so-called, angry, negative, pissed off, grumpy people. Many of them are advanced in years. Why do you think they made a movie called Grumpy Old Men? It may be truly random why people have strokes, heart attacks, or "go postal". However, I think the more people keep locked up inside, the more likely something not too healthy is going to happen to them. That energy has to go somewhere.
That being said, I am now probably due. In the last couple/few years, I have been making an effort to be less publicly passionate. Frankly, I have grown tired of being jacked up and colluded against by others for just being forthright and enthused. This is most likely why I am about to lose one tooth and probably two. Probably why my sleep cycle is so messed up too.
What really gets my goat about all this is the hypocrisy. These people bitch and moan about what they like, albeit in a very dispassionate manner, but when I start to express my thoughts and share my convictions, I am ignored, shouted over, contradicted, lied too, or even physically waved off.
You know what? They can all go and eat a big giant bowl of jello. Why should I subdue my passion because others do not like it. As I said earlier: Bite me! I better roll down my sleeves because I need somewhere to put my heart. I do not want any kind of major medical event, physical or mental, just because I am appeasing others. I pledged a long time ago that I refuse to die and that I am going to live forever. Well, at least to one-hundred-and-sixty-seven.
Well, I feel better.
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