i've been drinking all day and I'm still thirsty

No. Not really. I was not drunk today. But do ever you have those days that you are just a tad off and silly and you might just as well be? You know, just missing your mark or doing weird things or saying things that make absolutely no sense and you know it too. That is the day the wife and I had today.

I could not park in a clearly marked parking space all day. And one of them I parked in three times today. The same very one and I missed it each time. I had to get back in the truck and park it again each time.

You see, the boy has a Medieval Martial Arts training workshop this weekend. We dropped him off and checked in with him throughout the day while we ran various errands, like getting a dehumidifier for the basement, a PFD for the wife, groceries, etc. Parking on the street too I could not get right. Three tries before the truck was straight (enough).

I smashed the grocery cart in to pillars that were obviously there. We got a staff member to haul out a canoe so the wife could try on PFDs and sit in a canoe.

Another weird thing? When at the first grocery store and we were at the check out, I was on the packing end and the wife was loading up the conveyor. When I grab a packet of sliced ham from the deli counter. Odd. Curious. Hey, when did you get ham? I didn't. Well we have ham here. Not ours, someone must have put it in the cart. Okay?! So, it is put aside and we finish packing and paying.

The wife then runs off and comes back with the woman whose ham it is! Really! The woman takes her ham and carries on shopping. In the truck I ask the wife how did she find her. Well, for some reason she heard someone talking about ham and their grocery cart and remembered who it was and figured it was them. Okay?!

But I ask her, what did you say to them? Did you ask: Excuse me did you lose your ham I can help you find it, I am a swine clairvoyant? Or: I'm sorry but I think I have taken your pork products and am holding them hostage?  No, she just asked the woman if they had bought ham. The woman was a little taken aback and was baffled how the wife knew. I think she was a little freaked out myself. Anyway, the wife explains and brings her back to the check out and returns her ham to her. Very weird indeed.

At the other grocery store? I bought ten, yes ten, packs of pepperettes. Hey, they were on sale and had a long expiry on them. The wife? She bought six packs of bacon. On sale too, but it was like we were drunk and hungry all day. We would get excited about some of the vegetables on display and talk, a bit too loudly, about how absolutely wonderful they were. There was a snake gourd, yes it is a real thing, and I picked up and exceptionally long one and started making it slither and made hissing noises. 

The wife was also encouraging the vegetables and getting excited about country of origin. Especially the Dominican Republic. Also, a special shout out for lemons from South Africa! Yeah. Honestly, I am surprised we did not get kicked out of that store.

I remember now, at the first grocery store, the wife showed me they had cherry hot peppers. I call them cherry bombs. I could hardly contain myself. I was gushing about them and saying how you can almost never find them and that I love them. Then a clerk from the store says something about that they are only available in the summer. I must have given him a "piss off buddy I'm enjoying myself here and you're not invited" look because that exchange did not last long. I bought two packets of those. I am going to make a spicier version of a South African peppadew stew. 

I don't know. Maybe you had to be there for it all. I was, but I am still confused. At least we had a great time doing it. blbbl