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Friday, September 01, 2017

folies bergère - but without all the asses up in the air

So, I do not have enough material to finish the front of my fence off, which sucks. The second set of hinges I bought for the double gate I am putting in are far too wimpy for the gate's size. Fortunately, I can use it for the small gate that is going on the other side. However, I do not have enough pickets to finish the other side. Now, it looks like the fence is coming down from disrepair, since there is half a gate with a piece of lumber under it. Not to keep it level, just to keep it from swinging freely as the other gate is not there to latch to. However, from the street it looks much like a disaster.

The squirrels, of the Expanding Legion of Evil, appear to have figured out my pattern of movement, as there was zero Legion activity for two or three days; I think they were watching me. Now, they appear to swoop in moments after I am not around and are often gone by the time I get back outside. The only evidence of their presence is the wildly swinging feeders and the sound of them leaping through the trees. I think they may have a Observation Post (OP) set up somewhere. They may even have two of them as the two main feeders they assault are generally advanced upon from two different avenues of approach. I have caught them a couple of times on both simultaneously, which just makes it difficult to determine which flank to defend.

This morning, I was shaving in the shower and then as I was in the middle of my upper lip, the double razor blade hung-up and ripped a chunk out of me. It would not stop bleeding. I had to use a styptic pencil. That was charming. I had to apply it three or four times. Very ouchy and it burned. When it finally stopped, I had this huge clump of congealed blood in the middle of my upper lip. I looked how Hitler may have if some one cut off his moustache with reckless abandon. Not that I look like Hitler, just that the goop was in the middle of my lip. I had errands to run and such. I cleaned it off. Better.... but now it looks like I ate a bunch melty chocolate and did not wipe it all off. Attractive! Too bad I did not bite my tongue in the process, a speech impediment added to my new look would have been the perfect capper.

My lunch has consisted of a piece fudge (orange creamsicle flavour), homemade pickles, and a Pal-o-Mine candy bar. Healthy and nutritious! I am off to pick up the boy from his last day working at the zoo. I wonder what will happen next; other than ridiculously high fuel prices because of the flooding in Texas. It always amazes me how the petroleum industry will use any and every excuse to jack retail pricing up as fast as they can. Yet, when the same logic is used when the crisis or whatever is over to ask why prices have not come back down quickly, they spout crap about it takes 45 or 90 days or whatever for all the changes to filter through back to retail. I find it magically amazing that pricing can go up at light speed, but cannot come back down any faster than a two legged tortoise!?

Back from the zoo. On my way to pick the boy up, there was a tiny traffic flow reduction. I would not call it it a traffic jam, not even a traffic jelly. We are all lined up on this two-lane road, waiting patiently. Well, most of us. Suddenly this assclown in an ancient Pontiac Sunfire comes racing down the right-hand gravel shoulder. Some people obviously are more important than others. Then another knucklehead. Then a third, this one a firefighter. These guys always bitch and moan about people being unsafe. Guess what, now you guys can shut-up about it; you have no leg to stand on, due to one of your brethren being selfish and careless. Then five more vehicles whip on down. Whatever, they all probably saved a whole minute or two of time at the risk of causing an accident.

Get the boy, no attacks from lumberjack-ninjas or anything like that. Stop to get gas, nearly a quarter of dollar more than three days ago. As I am pulling in to the pumps I see a whole bay wide open. Sweet, I can pull to the end and have an easy egress. Nope. Some jerky-woman, driving a Volkswagen, what else, tries to race in and cut me off. If she let me in, she could have easily pulled past me and in, but no. Whatever. As I am filling up, some salesman-type guy, you know the breed: wearing a cheap, flashy suit that they think is sharp, driving an Audi, which basically is an overpriced Volkswagen, pulls in between the two bays, which are now full. He now is blocking my exit, unless I back up and go around the whole gas station to get out. What. A. Dick!

I finish filling up, just after the Volkswagen jerky-woman, who is a nurse by the way. So, Ottawa's EMT/medical type people are obviously a very selfish, ignorant lot. Anyway, she gets in to her bönehead-mobile. Then, she pretends to be sorting herself out. So, I am in a position if I do not want to back up because of the Audi assclown and drive all around the gas station to get out, I have to either wait her out until she gives up and backs out, which would be far easier for her, or I have to wait for the assclown. Well, I look in to the convenience store (ha, kind of an oxymoron right now) of the gas station and the guy is just getting up to the cash. I look at the jerky-woman, she is till pretending to be sorting something out. Really?! Well, I back up, drive around the gas station and another assclown is in front of me making a right turn like I need to, but he seems to be afraid to make the turn because it takes forever. Finally he does. Then who pulls in to the road and cuts me off from turning? The Volkswagen jerky-woman. Really?!

I make my turn expecting the whole time driving home that the Audi assclown is going to whip past me and then pull back in and cut me off. Surprisingly, to me anyway, this does not happen. However, at every all-way stop I pull up to, no one seems to remember how they work. I guess long weekends just make people stupid drivers. Anyway, finally home. Going to throw some chicken wings in to the oven, cut up some veggies and have supper. Our friend from Vancouver, who the wife visited earlier this summer, is supposed to crash with us tonight, so things to do. blbbl

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