So, sitting outside while the boy is at a Scout Troop planning meeting. I have opted to not participate to avoid any undo influence on their young minds while they lay plans for the upcoming Scouting year.
My left arm is killing me, yet numb at the same time. Very hard to type on my phone. I got stung by a wasp while cutting the grass yet again. I have discovered the approximate location of their dastardly lair as well. It is in the cedar hedge at the front of the property. On the opposite side from the last one that was in the hedge a few years ago.
The first one was truly sinister. An exterminator was called in after my clumsy attempt to deal with it. I was cutting the grass on the lawn tractor, when we had a lawn tractor that would cut grass, and I noticed a couple of wasps hanging around the hedge. They were somewhat bothersome. I investigated and saw several, but no nest. In my brilliance at the time, I got out the hose. Yup, I was a wasp eliminating genius.
Well, wasps and bees used to, metaphorically, cringe at my presence. I would kill them whenever they were near me. I could actually punch them out of the air. I would lay a bunch of fives on them and then stomp them while they were laying dazed on the ground.
It all started when I was very young and we were frolicking in a sprinkler in our front yard back in Hamilton. Then a bee got agitated and was buzzing us looking for a target. Everyone scattered and everyone, but me, ran across the street. I started to freak out. All the other kids, including my brother, were shouting for me to run across the road. I started crying and they kept telling for me to cross the street. Then it happened. The bee found a target. Me! Right in the small of the back. On my spine! I started wailing and ran down the street on my side. My brother caught up to me, stopped me, calmed me down and removed the bees guts off my back.
He then asked why I did not cross? I answered: because I was not allowed to cross the street on my own. He laughed. I cried. We went home and iced it. It was really swollen. For days. And it hurt. From that day I killed every bee and wasp I could.
So, one time, I was walking down a side street and there were a few bees buzzing around minding their own business, but that was not good enough for me. I started whacking them. Five, six, over a dozen. Then I lost count. Not one actually attacked me. That was the day I realised I was being very stupid. I was killing bees and wasps because one bee felt threatened and did what it did because that was its only real defence mechanism.
I stopped being the destroyer of striped stingy insects. Oh, I still got stung, but I did not freak out. Usually, I gave them a wide berth for all our sakes. Normally, I just let them move on their merry way. If they end up in the house or the gazebo tent, we use a spider catcher to, well catch them, and then release them in the open. However, I would still do foolish things from time to time though.
Like when I got the hose out on the hedge. I figured I would drive off those few wasps milling about the hedge so I could finish cutting the front of the property. Well, I got the hedge with the hose. Wisely, I moved the tractor to the back of the house. When the water hit the hedge, the wasps hit me. I saw one right in front me. While I turned the hose on him, two stung me in the right side of the neck and another one stung me twice in the chest. Over my heart!
I screamed like little girl and ran. And ran. And ran. About one hundred metres. I was chased by about a dozen wasps before they gave up. It was about ten or fifteen minutes later before I could approach the house. Every time when I tried to make tracks back towards the house, they would pop out of nowhere and make a go for me. Finally, for whatever reason they ceased their aggressive defence.
When I got back to the house, there were hundreds of wasps milling about where I put the hose to the cedar hedge. (Sorry, Blogger crapped out and I lost three paragraphs, back at home and computer. Trying to remember what I typed already.) There was no finishing the front now. As I cut the back, I licked my wounds. Apparently, the wife saw the whole thing. When I explained what happened, she laughed at me, and in a very polite way, called me a moron. She also called an exterminator. He took care of the wasps, but good.
The wife showed me a small piece of the nest. It was bigger than an Aussie Rules football. A small piece! The nest was apparently riddled through over half the hedge. I had never seen or heard of anything like that. It was not a swarm, hive, nest, or colony. It was a nation! A civilisation. A proto-world of wasps. I could not believe it. There were hundreds of dead wasps around the hedge. It was absolutely wild. There were probably thousands, or more, living in the hedge, before the wasp nation was snuffed out. Since then, until recently, we have not had any major issues with wasps. Sure, some here and there. Various types, mostly yellow jackets. We also have quite a few bees of many types. Especially honey bees. The neighbours on the other side of the back of our property have hives and make honey. Sometimes they give us some. It is very good. The boy and I use it in our tea when we are really sick. We feel better in short order every time.
So, this time, I am not messing around. I have been stung while by the same area of the hedge a few times in recent weeks. I suspect a new nation of wasps is being formed. The wife emailed the same exterminator. We are just waiting to hear from him. Plus, there is (or is it: there are?) a bunch of wasps making another nest. At least they look like wasps (big, huge, freaky ones), but the structure they are creating looks like a honeycomb bees nest. It is attached to the side of the shed right where the roof meets the wall, right by one of our fire pits. I cut a wide berth around them too today. That nest/hive was not there yesterday, so that should be taken care of jiffy quick. That one I could zap myself, but since we are getting the one out front taken care of by a pro, he might just as well do that one too.
So, each time I have gotten stung in the last year or so, the pain is greater, the swelling more, the duration of it all longer. This latest one? I was stung at the top back of my left arm, just under my shoulder. It is red and swollen from my shoulder (so above the sting), all the way down to my elbow. It is also very warm, and also very numb, and also very painful. This happened about eight hours ago. The sting I got before this one caused my muscles around the sting to cramp up for about five days and it hurt like a right bugger. So, I expect this one will last at least a week.
I read somewhere that even if you are not allergic to bee or wasp stings, you can become allergic from repeated stings. I am going to ask my doctor for a prescription for an epi-pen. The last thing I need is to choke on my own tongue. Although, I am sure some people would think it a relief. I cannot help but wonder if this is some kind of stinging insect karma and it is payback for all those striped foes I killed in battle so many year ago.
Regardless, those two nests we have now must go. Like I said, I generally leave bees and wasps alone now, but not when it is a safety concern. It could be dangerous when they are that aggressive and in the way. Oh yeah, one exception to leaving them alone except for outstanding situations like what we have now: drunk wasps. Yellow jackets love rotting apples. Apparently, they get drunk. The last thing I am going to allow is a bunch of drunk wasps fly around my yard. (The apples fall off the neighbours' apple trees. Well, now just one neighbour has an apple tree and it is mostly out of the way of our yard now after some trimming.) They go in the organic waste bin, apples and all. At least those guys die happy and oblivious. Lucky buzzers. blbbl
(N.B. I am pretty impressed with myself. I told at least five related, yet distinct, stories, all couched one inside the other. Just thought I would toot my own horn. Cheers!)
(N.B.II. Blogger on my phone did some weird-ass editing. It changed and deleted entire words multiple times. I have reread this post several times to fix/undo what Blogger did. I am not sure I caught it all. I will read it again tomorrow and fix anything I missed. Feel free to point out anything that is super weird. Grammatically or word-wise, not the contents. I already know that is weird. Cheers again!!)
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